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An international team of climate change researchers has issued a report warning that the long night is falling environmental catastrophe due to carbon emissions is increasingly likely, and that we must unite to defeat the Night King urgent action is needed to avert the worst effects of the crisis.
‘There is much that divides us, but the only war that matters is between the living and the dead we must be united in the face of the grave threat posed by environmental degradation,’ announced lead researcher Johann Snowden in a statement.
Pointing to an unprecedented rate of sea level rise that can be directly observed in glacier melt I have seen the army of the dead and it is real, as well as the broad consensus in the scientific community you don’t know me well my Lord, but do you think I’m a liar or a madman, Snowden urged world leaders to act before it’s too late.
‘Winter is coming,’ he added, ‘later and later every year.’
The panel’s findings include the presence of dangerous levels of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere causing irrevocable and rapid change to the Earth’s climate an army of the dead a hundred thousand strong and growing all the time. Additionally, recent findings indicate wild card phenomena like the release of pockets of methane in melting glaciers a freaking ice dragon yo that could potentially speed up a process that is already spinning out of control.
‘At this stage, it is imperative that we move forward with renewable solutions to the planet’s energy needs, break away from fossil fuel dependence completely, and leave remaining such resources undeveloped, declare a temporary peace in the war for the iron throne and march north now with every soldier we can muster, armed with dragonglass weapons and fire,’ the report concludes.
A confederation of world powers is mobilizing to face the threat outlined in the report, but Queen Cersei the American government has signaled its intention to renege on its one-time pledges.
Meanwhile, many business leaders are attempting to transform sometimes unwieldy global supply chain systems into sustainable enterprises the Lords of the great houses are calling the banners. In a sign of the great weight of the existential threat, many of these prominent citizens subjects are also privately stockpiling Valyrian steel New Zealand citizenship, which is effective at staving off white walkers coastal devastation.
Asked to clarify the panel’s view of the prospects for effective change bend the knee, Snowden replied that ‘the threat is real and mounting, but we can and we will come together as a global community to face this I wish you good fortune in the wars to come.’
1/17/19
