{fiction}

'God Created Whiskey...'

Variations on a theme

To the world.

‘God created whiskey to keep the Irishman from taking over the world.' 
- Irish proverb, obviously

I 
'God created skateboarding to keep the SoCal teenager from taking over the world.'

II
'God created shoes to keep Woman from taking over the world.'

III
'God created everyone else to keep the Somalian from taking over the world.'

IV
'God created God to keep the atheist from taking over the world.'

V
'God created indie rock to keep effeminate straight men with bracelets from taking over the world.'

VI
'God created tye-dye to keep t-shirts from taking over the world.'

VII
'God created a long, brutal tradition of English colonial rule to keep the Irishman from taking over the world.'

VIII
'God created Pepsi to allow Coke to take over the world.'

IX
'God created Twitter to keep compassion, forethought, and understanding from taking over the world.'

X
'God created crystal meth to keep hopelessly poor, mostly rural Americans from taking over the world.'

XI
'God created evolution to keep creationism from taking over the world.'

XII
'God created the Devil to keep God from taking over the world, apparently.'

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2/12/2015