everything is necessary
  • the good news
  • the bad news
  • the briefs
  • the verse
  • the view
  • the words
  • the man
{list}

History's Worst Pickup Lines


​'Hey Jodie, how you livin? Shot Reagan.'

'Little girl, with time and patience, I'm gonna make you President. You know what, you should just italicise 'time' and 'patience' in your head there, darling.'

'Ma chere demoiselle, I did not bury the dream of La Revolution and step atop its grave so that I would have to buy you a third drink.'


'God...the great spirit, gone, just like that. For nothing. I wonder if our great broken country will ever find its way to the promised land without his unwavering guidance. Ever fuck a black dude?'

​'Ooh - sorry love! Mind the bag! So, do you hang around gallows often?'

'My child, all of this will end if you simply admit your heresy and repent before God. Do you like Italian food?'

'What? Say what you got to say, dame, I'm on a hot streak. Alright, how much you got? What do you mean, what do I mean? It may be my name, but I don't Humphrey.'


'Well, I'm glad you liked Bonnie and Clyde so much...Sorry, what is it? Charlene? Look, I prefer numbers - did the guy downstairs give you a number?'

'Lord, grant me chastity and continence, but not till I've made you breakfast.'

'What's up baby. Want a Wikipedia entry?'
​

'Well it's a real honor to meet you too, Marilyn. And to answer your question, yes, it does mean you basically have to. Unless I've got a conscientious objector on my hands, hehe...didn't think so.'

'Not Siberia, please Your Grace, they merely brought me because I am said to...resemble a horse - a simple misunderstanding, Your Grace. Your Grace! EMPRESS!'
​

2/11/2016
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