Honest Network Slogans
CBS: Give up on life with us.
NBC: Soulless with edge.
FOX: A place for rage.
ABC: Somehow dumber.
HBO: Not porn, not not porn.
AMC: You want bleak? We’ll give you bleak.
Comedy Central: It’s a long way down.
The CW: Now with more vampires!
BET: Proudly dividing the African-American community against itself.
PBS: Supported by viewers like you. And herein lies the problem.
BBC: Not as good as you’d think.
A&E: Watch people store their stuff while you work out.
Lifetime: That’s how long it will feel like.
MTV: Making people worse since 1981.
Spike: Not Lee. Because you were totally thinking that.
Syfy: Why being a nerd is sometimes purely a bad thing.
TBS: You owe us for constantly playingGroundhog Day in your youth.
VH1: Just take up drugs. Seriously.