{fiction}

Everything Is Necessary: Well Mr. Joyce, I must say it’s an honor to have you with us.

James Joyce: Pleasure. At first it’s pleasure then there’s pain owow please mommy dearest it hurts.

EIN: Mr. Joyce, you’ve been called the most influential novelist of the last century. Do you think that’s justified?

JJ: Well, I don’t know if I’d quite agree with that assumption assume is ass of u and me. How it happens. Words and asses. Which one would be better on a lonely night? Maybe donkeys could read to you. But I must say that it’s nice to be appreciated appreciate that’s rich. Appreciation is just gratitude with sugar on top. Sugar manners. Mannered sugar would be something. Would have to say thanks for a lump in your tea.

EIN: No need to be modest, Mr. Joyce. We’re all friends here.

JJ: Yes, of course. Friends. Keep you warm on a lonely night? Would take more than sugar in your tea.

EIN: You’ve been credited with inventing the narrative technique known as ‘stream-of-consciousness.' What was your intention in devising such a novel approach to writing?

JJ: I had come to the point where I just found that writing had become stagnant. Like a stag. Wonder if stags are stagnant. A lot of responsibility, though. Need a lot of rest. I thought: how do I tell a story the way I want to tell it? Aunt Molly used to tell stories. Warm next to me on my bed when she’d sit. Giant shoe with many children. Three pigs. Pigs should have just kept quiet. Would have saved their bacon.

EIN: And that’s how you thought of this style.

JJ: It just seemed to be the most natural way of telling the story I wanted to tell. Show. Show and tell. Remember Seamus, with the mouse in the box? Got free and scared the schoolteacher. Skirts flew high. Boys weren’t watching for the mouse then.

EIN: Well Mr. Joyce, thanks for taking the time to talk to us today.

JJ: You’re quite welcome for the time. Today is tomorrow without the time. Yesterday already has it. Greedy. Everybody wants a piece of time. Almost think it was ass.

9/25/12