{fiction}

Gladiator

'Yes I know there was a dream that was Rome, Max, I think we'd all agree on that. No one's challenging...Max. Max. You could only whisper it...I know, but Max, you got to think about the big picture here. Look at the foreign market sales projections, buddy. These numbers, they don't lie...'


Star Wars

‘Luke? Luke-y, my man! You using the force, baby? Glad to hear it. Listen, I’ve got a great offer for you, real blue chips. I’m telling you, this is a once-in-a-lifetime thing. You’ll be telling your grandkids about it. Alright, ready? Can I paint you a picture? Get this: you...in command of your very own...star destroyer mothafucka! Imperial star destroyer F24-3 has just come off the line and they’re looking...huh? Yeah, of course it’s for the Empire...Luke. Luke. Dude, you can’t stay with the rebels forever. You’ve broken through. This is what you’ve been working towards man! Look, Imperial Command was very impressed with that whole turning Darth Vader against the Emperor thing, they think it was beautiful work, everyone does. So now it’s time to cash in, playa! Right? Luke...Luke...I want you to think very carefully about your future, okay pal?


Back to the Future

‘Hey buddy! What’s that? Sorry, I’m on the freeway...turns out where I’m going I do need roads! Eh? Oh, well never mind. Listen: I don’t have to tell you that you are a hot commodity right now. I’m getting calls left and right about you, all my phones, even my home landline, wife is pissed, kids can’t sleep, anyway: this is the top of the pile, alright? The number one offer, the Rolls Royce - I’m sorry, the DeLorean! Eh? Alright, forget it, listen. Marty, Marty my man: you. Kill. Hitler. What do you say, bitch? Want to make history? Want to be a motherfucking badass, brother? I’ll just say, I have this prevent global warming gig that could also be something special, but to be honest, I don’t see a statue in it for you...’


Apocalypse Now

‘Willard! Brosicle! Punch any mirrors lately? I’m just fucking with you. So listen, if you can pry your eyes away from the ceiling fan for a minute, I’ve got a mission you’re going to lose your fucking shit over. Seriously, if you got this badboy for your sins, you must have had a hell of a weekend in Vegas, that’s all I’m saying. Alright, let me lay it out for you: a special appearance at Darryl’s Steakhouse in El Paso, Texas where...you take the Plate Steak Challenge. That’s a steak as big as a dinner plate, and if you finish it inside of an hour...it’s straight-up free, son! No strings attached, you’ve just got to give out some autographs to some veterans. What do you say, Captain? Hungry? Cause we’ve got an out-of-control meal you need to terminate with extreme prejudice.

2/12/2015