Unfortunate Fortune Cookies
Lady luck will visit you at work, but you will be in the middle of something.
With each passing day you become more malleable.
You will find happiness, then lose it again, then find that you’ve lost it.
Please sit down. There is much to discuss.
The road to hell is paved with good intentions, but the road to heaven is not yet paved due to a stalled ordinance.
You have an acceptable sense of direction.
There is still time to call it off. Just think about it, okay? No one would think any less of you.
Good things are coming, but you're not anytime soon.
Now is a good time to take a chance. Consider calling waiter at lucky number on reverse.
Do not make important decisions while skydiving.
You should not have come here, small one.
Trust your enemies, not your friends, for some reason.
Do not trust anyone over thirty or under thirty-one.
A suitable metaphor for your life is on the horizon.